All of us hear it on a regular basis from others. If we’re honest with ourselves, most of us would have to admit that we do the same thing – using an extreme term to describe an emotion when a less loaded term would actually be more accurate.
I often hear people speak of how angry they are when they are really annoyed. Similarly, I hear of situations being described as terrible when they are really just too bad. And how many times do people describe themselves as depressed when they may not even be sad, but rather disappointed about a situation like the end of a relationship or the failure to get a job that they really wanted.
I’m not a linguist, but I am a psychologist, and I’ve seen the positive and negative power that words can have. And I’ve observed how patients have been able to become more proactive and productive when they are not stuck in a hole that they’ve created with their own words.
Experience it yourself. Next time that you describe yourself as being mad or angry or pissed off, whether you are expressing the feeling to someone else or internally to yourself, see if the word annoyed doesn’t really fit instead. Likewise, notice if it isn’t really objectively more accurate to call something too bad rather than terrible, horrendous, or a catastrophe – although it may be tempting to use one of the more loaded words.
This is not just a vocabulary exercise. Intense negative emotions can be very draining. While they may occasionally be an accurate way of describing your feelings, the excessive use of emotionally loaded negative words causes your body to be stressed in situations that aren’t always objectively stressful. In addition they may cause you to behave in more negative ways than may be the case if you relabel the feeling a less intense but oftentimes more accurate way.
Language is a great tool, but any tool can be misused. Use it wisely and accurately when it comes to labeling your emotions.