No matter how positively we approach life and how satisfied we are with our situations, nothing ever turns out right all the time. We all wind up being disappointed at times, feeling regretful at times, and feeling that we are being treated unfairly at times. During those times, it is pretty normal to try to figure out what caused the particular circumstance to happen, to try to resolve the situation more favorably if possible, and work to learn from it so that you can hopefully be in a better situation in the future.
It is clearly unhelpful, however, to ruminate, become self-critical, and stay stuck. When I find myself beginning to go down that negative “rabbit hole,” I have found it helpful to remind myself that, “I am exactly where I should be,” and most of the time that’s correct. While there are a few negative occurrences that can be attributed to circumstances beyond my control, most of the situations in which I find myself – good or bad – are the result of choices that I’ve made and behaviors that I’ve engaged in that were based upon the best information that I’ve had available. As a result of how I processed the information, I’ve made a lot of good choices, but also some that were too risky or too safe. The same applies to you.
Once you accept the fact that you are exactly where you should be, it becomes very freeing. It allows you to recognize that you have the ability to control much of your narrative. For the most part, you put yourself into your current reality, and hopefully it’s a generally positive one. But if it’s not, you can change it. You may no longer have available the same options that landed you where you are now, but you still have options. You don’t have to blame yourself or others or bad luck, and you don’t have to stay stuck. The fact that you are exactly where you should be doesn’t mean that you must be satisfied with being there. Get creative and get yourself to a different place. Wherever that place is, it will be exactly where you should be.