If you are at all into popular or academic psychology, you may be well aware of the fact that the concept of “mindfulness” is one of the hottest topics in the entire field today. Dr. Jan Chozen Bays, who is both a physician and Zen master, has defined mindfulness as “deliberately paying attention to what…
We are living during some difficult times. It is easy to become cynical. On a near-daily basis, the news contains reports of terrorism, gun violence, political polarization, and an uncertain economy. Under these circumstances it is easy to say, “What’s the use of trying? How can I make a difference?” It is precisely at times…
When facing challenges or tasks that are not inherently enjoyable, I try to approach each one with the question of, “How can I make it be fun?” It doesn’t always work! Sometimes it’s because of me and the way I’m feeling and the way that it detracts from some things that I’d rather do. Sometimes…
Perfectionists have been getting a bad name in some quarters. And some of the criticism is justified. At its worst, perfectionism promotes rigidity in thinking, non-acceptance of others whose ideas are different, and the setting of standards that are often impossible to achieve. It is impossible to be better than everyone else at everything that…
It would be nice to go through life without having to deal with disappointments. Nice – but not realistic. The issue is not whether we will have to deal with disappointments in our family lives, careers, and relationships. We will. The issue is how will we cope when those things occur. In this area, like…
Emotionally Ignoring is a good skill to know. When you emotionally ignore someone or something, you don’t totally ignore the person or situation; you just don’t take it personally or allow yourself to needlessly get upset. There are three types of situations where emotionally ignoring is particularly useful: when trying to create a behavior change…
Whether it is by choice or circumstances or a combination of both, many of us are very, very busy. Everything – from demanding jobs to carpools to social activities to the sports events and recitals of children and grandchildren to caring for the health needs of family members – seems to conspire to fill every…
One of the earliest podcasts that I recorded for The Mental Health Gym website dealt with a concept that I developed and call Competent Person’s Disease. I consider it as an “addiction to 2nd place.” People who have Competent Person’s Disease are – as the name implies – very capable, and this results in people…
One of the known keys to success lies in our ability to control our impulses and delay gratifications. The students who handle difficult courses and the successful dieters and people who successfully advance up the ranks of a company share the ability to delay gratifications. While it’s always nice to get immediate rewards, it becomes…
The setting and achieving of goals is obviously a central part of Goal-Achieving Psychotherapy. Many of our blogs and podcasts and newsletter ideas are designed to help you do so. Your chances of persisting and achieving goals are most likely to take place when the goals are both realistic and a reflective of a high…
Motivated students sometimes have difficulty with teachers who are hard graders. Sometimes entire classes don’t meet a teacher’s exacting standards, and few – if any – in the class get above average grades. Sometimes the tradeoff for not getting a really good grade is worth it if the teacher is equally demanding of him/herself to…