In July, for the first time since I started posting blogs – with the goal of posting three a month, I didn’t post a single blog. There have been months when I only posted two, but this is my first blog in over a month. I hope that some of you noticed and maybe even missed reading them.
I think that I had a pretty good excuse. For the first time in 42 years, my wife and I went through the process of moving. We downsized from our home in the suburbs to an apartment in Philadelphia’s Center City. Now I not only can walk to work, but we can participate more in the life of a city that has become increasingly vibrant over the years. Center City has always been a big part of our lives, but now we can enjoy going to a restaurant, concert, or other event or activity without facing a 45 minute drive home at the end of the evening.
While the move was more time consuming and to some extent harder than I expected, I noticed something about my attitude that was missing last time we moved.
Although our move 42 years ago was a very positive one to a home that we liked in an area where we chose to raise our family, I have often noted to friends that it was one of the most horrendous experiences of my life. Indeed, studies of stress have shown that moving ranks write up there with divorce, job loss, and other objectively more negative events as being one of life’s major stressors. I think that is the case because people tend to lose sight of the purpose or goal of the move, which is oftentimes positive, and instead they concentrate on the details – some of which are obviously negative.
There are costs involved that don’t occur when you are not moving. There are disagreements with your spouse, significant other, or roommate about what to buy and what to get rid of. There are the inevitable nicks that always seem to be inflicted onto your dearest possessions because of the way they are handled by you or your movers. And there are always those second thoughts about whether the whole thing is a good idea.
What was different for us this time was the focus upon what we were moving toward. We were moving toward a change in our lifestyle that we chose – and we tried not to forget it. Embracing that change enabled us to handle the change with less stress, fewer arguments, and a greater ability to laugh at (or at least tolerate) unexpected problems.
This isn’t a blog about moving. I’m certain that it’s not a current issue for most of you. It’s a blog about setting goals, and embracing change, and not letting some negative details become your focus as you grow and change and move toward your positive goals.
I’ve evolved over the past 42 years, and I hope that my experiences can serve as a metaphor to enable you to do so in a much shorter period of time.