When facing challenges and making decisions, one of two things can happen; we can either move forward or decide not to.
When we make the decision to attempt something, one of two things can happen; we can be successful or fall short.
Not every challenge that we encounter is the right one for us and not every effort leads to success. At The Mental Health Gym, we often serve as cheerleaders for change and for risk-taking to achieve change. We should not, however, lose perspective about the fact that not every opportunity is a good one. Some challenges and some choices should be declined for any of a number of reasons. We may not have enough time. The potential risk may be too great for the potential reward. It may not be a meaningful challenge. It may drain energy that can be better spent elsewhere.
One of our rights as human beings is the right to say, “NO”. Some people have a hard time with that. People like that have a need to come up with an excuse for not being on tap for everything that is ever asked of them. A simple “No, thanks” isn’t good enough; they feel compelled to make an excuse.
For others, trying and falling short is unacceptable, and so is making a mistake. They interpret their efforts as failure unless they can come up with an excuse.
The problem with this type of thinking is that excuse-making is hard work. It requires working to create an excuse that is plausible – and then sometimes building an additional story on top of the excuse when some unanticipated event or information challenges the validity of the excuse.
Think of those situations that you’ve faced that could lend themselves to making an excuse. Then think about what would be easier – to figure out an excuse or to simply say, “No, thanks” or “I’m sorry” or “I’m not interested” or “Not right now”. Saying those things may be a little uncomfortable or even embarrassing, but it’s not nearly as hard as figuring out an excuse – and then agonizing over whether the real reason will eventually be found out.