While January is the traditional time for making resolutions that may soon be broken, I’d like to offer an alternative. The year that just ended, just like every year, was probably a “mixed bag” of good experiences and bad experiences. Hopefully, most of what you remember from last year has been good although reality does force recognition of some disappointments. January is a good time to stop dwelling on disappointments.
One of the easiest ways to place disappointments in perspective is to focus on the positive. What things did you accomplish? What positive changes did you make in your life and the lives of others? What pride can you take from the achievements of others whom you’ve mentored – children, grandchildren, friends, and co-workers? What relationships did you improve? And yes, what resolutions did you keep? Resolutions are good things; they just may not be the most important things to focus on as the year begins. When you start to look backward with pride, you just may surprise yourself to learn how well the year went.
Once we’ve oriented ourselves in a positive direction, it is reasonable to look back at disappointments – not to dwell on them but to help set the groundwork for making the coming year better. An honest assessment of disappointments can serve as a guide for repairing relationships, building more activities and fun into our lives, and strengthening our psychological infrastructure.
Try the exercise of looking backward with pride by focusing on the positive. I’d love to hear about your experience in doing so. I suspect that the exercise will be a happy one for you, and sharing it will help pave the way for others to feel better about themselves and the year we’ve left behind.