Last Thursday I planned to get to work on time. Unfortunately we had tremendous rain and flooding in the Philadelphia area. All three train lines that stop at our local station were unable to function. I figured out an alternative and drove to a more distant station that was a stop for a different train. When I got there, I found that there was no available parking for blocks around, and I drove back home so that my wife could drive me back to the station. I did get to work – two hours late.
Our grandchildren live almost an hour away from our home, and I rarely get to see them during the week. My wife and I try to arrange our weekends so that we can spend some time with them doing such activities as going to the playground, taking them for a train ride, or visiting our local zoo or aquarium. If possible, they also sleep over one of the weekend nights. We recognize that they won’t be 3 or 4 years old forever, and the day will come when they no longer consider their grandparents to be among their favorite playmates. Some weekends, however, we don’t see them because either their schedule or ours doesn’t permit it.
The reason that I am telling you this is not to brag about my dedication to either my job or my family – although that is a source of pride. I’m using these example to illustrate the concept of, “ active default”.
The term, default, has usually been defined to refer to something passive – a failure to act. If you take out a loan and later fail to make the payments, you are in default. A tennis player who suffers an injury and can’t continue a match loses it by default. A company that fails to provide adequate service loses customers by default.
In Goal-Achieving Psychotherapy, however, we also recognize that default can be active. When we plan to do something, whether it’s to get to work or help a friend or get involved in a group, we are setting an active default. We are basically committing ourselves to following through with our plans unless we have a good reason for not doing so. Paradoxically, we are choosing to be active unless we actively decide to be inactive. The default is activity.
In working with headache patients on a daily basis, I emphasize this a lot. Even if headaches have been impairing and have led to past disappointments resulting in having to cancel planned activities, it is important to still plan to be active in the future. It sill may be necessary to cancel if a headache is severe, but there is a greater chance of following through with the activity if an active default has been set.
What are your active defaults? How many are set by you in addition to those set by others such as your employer or mortgage company? As we discuss Goal-Achieving Psychotherapy concepts in future blogs and podcasts, the use of active defaults as part of a comprehensive system of personal growth should become increasingly meaningful and easy to do.