It’s not a trick question. What do you like about yourself?
When I ask that question of my therapy patients, as I inevitably do, the number who struggle to find an answer never fails to amaze me.
Happily some are able to answer the question quickly and forthrightly. Too many others, however, are eager to try to change the question so that they can tell me what they don’t like about themselves – because they find that to be a much easier task. Still others react as if the question is so far out of left field that they have never thought about it.
What i find particularly bothersome about those who have a problem with the question is that many of them have been in therapy before. How can a person effectively pursue psychotherapy without addressing his or her strengths early in the process so that those positive attributes can be called upon to meet challenges and grow as an individual?
I get it. None of us has all the answers to the questions and challenges and problems that we face. Each of us is a unique individual made up of a complex combination of relative weaknesses AND STRENGTHS. While it’s no fun to have weaknesses, it is important that we do not let ourselves be defined by them. It is equally important that we do not define ourselves by those things that we don’t like about ourselves.
Be objective. Be willing to look at your flaws. But also be willing to look at those things that are strengths and make you particularly likable – both to others and to yourself.
It’s really not a trick question and it’s not that hard. What do you like about yourself? The answer exists, even if you have to work at coming up with it. I hope that you won’t leave this blog until you can articulate an answer to yourself. Hopefully, you can then be proud enough of the answer to share it with others.